16 weeks

here i was, the week i found out clear clue read "pregnant", 4 weeks along.

here i am, last night, 16 weeks along.
not going to lie: the hardest part so far...my body is changing.
and i KNOW this is good, and its supposed to happen, will continue to happen.
BUT i am still waiting for the "I ENJOY THIS".... i am sure it'll happen, its just not quite yet.

on a more positive note: i am feeling well.
i have more energy than i did a few weeks back, except for fighting a nasty cold last week that kept me in bed for 22 hours straight.

we have an appointment next friday; quite possibly might find out gender, if we are lucky:) its still on the early side, but it might happen:)
i am hoping we find out, it'll be fun to associate Pip with a gender.
i want to start setting up his/her room....buy a crib, get bedding, organize ourselves; its early, i understand, but thats just how i roll!

back track: 11 weeks

july 20th 2012.
i am 11 weeks pregnant.
but can't tell anyone....besides our inner circle.
(so this post will be posted later)
as we are still in that secret phase; its a good thing not to tell the world on day one; but its hard to keep it under wraps for over 90 days!

this is what i did today
went to the gym; had a crazy workout...my energy is coming back
i am getting a little pudgy around the middle; which isn't very fun at the moment;
but when it looks like its supposed to be there i'll be more comfortable with it.

i also went to target and picked up these for $4.
(my first purchase for little Pip!)

he/she might need many more important things than shoes for when he/she is one years old; but i couldn't resist, they are just too dang cute; and i wish they were in my size:)

four years of marriage

happy anniversary mr DB.
i am one lucky lady who gets the privilege of living life with you.
you said the other day these past four years have flown by....which they have!

i am thrilled for what is ahead.

DB, for this past year, thank you for every Sunday evening dinner you made for me!
Also, for this past year, its been a gift to watch you excel, thrive and fall in love with your occupation. in the midst of you crazy busy schedule you have maintained as much balance as you could; and i am incredibly proud of all your accomplishments.

DB, for this upcoming year, i am most excited about seeing you become a father, because I know you are going to be a fantastic, loving, caring, thoughtful, over protective, compassionate, selfless, kind, generous dad....and i already love that about you!

happy anniversary babe!

weekly recap

this past weekend i said good bye to the store I've know for the past 2 years


for the second year in a row, DB and I attended the global leadership summit
it was great, and we're planning on attending next year as well
(only next year, an added twist.... we will need to find a babysitter)
we really enjoy this conference, personally and professionally; and it truly is fantastic to attend together; and go to the lake for a lunch date together both days...such a treat:)


here i am....14 weeks pregnant
i plan on working out till the day i give birth
all the while knowing, the way i work out has to be adapted and changed; as i already run less walk more; but it still feels oh-so-good to get my sweat on


one week ago, we were in chico working for my parents.
it was warm, and sunny and just lovely to change up our life pace

DB cooked for us all....delicious as usual


yesterday i came home from my last day of work at the fillmore,
flowers were on the table with a very sweet card.
in addition, DB made one of my favorites for dinner: chicken parmesan.


today, we rested, went for a walk along the reservoir and meet up with the Barrys for dinner!


looking ahead,
tomorrow i start at my new store!!
thursday we celebrate our 4th anniversary! (holy moly, time flies!)
this weekend, we are celebrating friendship!
(friends having babies, friends flying into visit, friends having birthdays!)

back track: my first week of knowledge recap

i write things down, predominately so i can recall and remember.

june 2nd.  first day of knowledge
(there is another entire post for this day)

june 3rd. sunday.  second day of knowledge
woke up at 5am, excited about the "secret" and excited for my race; not very hungry but had to get something in me before i left for the race.
8 am i started running a half marathon, my friend sarah met me at mile 10 (thank goodness!!!) as this half was the hardest one of them all.
i was sick the entire week prior, and the morning of, still not feeling well.
at mile 12, i might have said to sarah, "can i tell you a secret?"  she said, "yeah"
"first, i am going to walk for a bit...and second....i might be pregnant"
i am so glad she didn't fall over in shock
number one, i don't walk when i am set out to run.  even in training runs, if i walk, i typically make myself start over!
number two, she probably wasn't expecting me to say that!
but she was sweet and said i was doing a great job, even if i did look like i was going to throw up back there
it was true, i felt crazy sick, and crazy tired.
but we walked just for a bit and then finished the race...it was not easy...but i finished.

june 4th. monday.  3rd day of knowledge, 1st day at work since finding out.
it was crazy, to have this secret, yet wanted to tell my team, specifically yadi who asks me every day if i am pregnant.
yet, i didn't say anything and that was crazy hard.
all day, i was starving.
i ate my breakfast lunch and snacks all my 12pm, and still had 4 hours to go.
thankfully one of my partners grabbed me food when we went out to grab his own lunch:)
exhausted, i was in bed by 8pm.

june 5th.  tuesday.  4th day of knowledge.
not as hungry as i had been the entire 2 weeks prior.
feeling okay enough to go to the gym after work.
muscles are sore from the race on sunday though.

june 6th. wednsday. 5th day of knowing
i told my boss today, as we are in negotiations over me moving to a new store; and i wanted her to know i'd have to take maternity leave starting at the end of january; and if that fits into her "plan" then we can keep this conversation going; if it doesn't....then i want her to make the best decision for that store (and honestly, i am okay with staying at my current store, and/or going to a new store).

june 7th.  thursday.  had my appointment with the prenatal clerk at kaiser.
lots of blood work, 3 urine tests and lots of paper work.
it was confirmed i am 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow (friday)
our first real doctors appointment with an ultrasound is scheduled for july 12th. (week #10 for me)

june 8th.  friday.   7th day of keeping this secret.  officially 5 weeks pregnant.
went to the gym; did 2.5 miles of stairs and 1 mile on the treadmill.
afterward, i went to get a mani/pedi!
overall, i felt good, some soreness; but haven't felt nauseous since tuesday.  i choose to keep it this way.

 june 9th.  saturday.
went for a 4.75 mile run, felt good, but slow.
all the eating i've done the past two weeks, i could feel it in my pace,...but it felt good to run even though i thought my nips might fall off they hurt when i run now.
i am not as hungry as i was these past 3 weeks, thank goodness, cause i was eating more than DB; and thats a lot!
tonight we having a birthday dinner celebration as well as sharing the secret with jill and sean:)

june 10-11: monterey for my 30th!  very excited for this bed and breakfast we are staying at.
the anticipation of my birthday fell off my mind last weekend when that clear blue test read "pregnant".
this secret, this knowledge; has consumed my thoughts and crept into my conscious and subconscious.
and all week i haven't really been super mindful that this is my 30th birthday weekend!
i think its a boy.  db thinks its a girl.
little baby barry has taken the limelight already.

back track: june 2nd. 2012

can it happen? the answer is yes.

"...this day has started off weird..."
thats what DB said as he awoke to find me already at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.
the time was 815am, and i had been awake for almost an hour.
i was done sleeping, i tried to turn over and continue sleeping, but it wasn't happening.
so i woke earlier than DB, on my own, without an alarm clock, on my day off...
quite possibly this is the first time in our married career such a thing has happened.

i took a pregnancy test, and left it on the bathroom counter for DB to see.
i couldn't conclude if there were 2 visible lines, or if it was just one faint line one accompanied by a dark line.
i just thought.... its inconclusive.
if i don't start my period today; i'll take another test tomorrow before we leave for my race.

i made coffee; which tasted foul; no idea why...maybe my soy milk wasn't fresh?
but the soy wasn't expired.
regardless, i didn't have more than 2 sips before i tossed it and gave up on coffee for the day.
i did make oatmeal, which turned out just fine.

when DB came out of the bathroom, he asked me about the pregnancy test, i said, "it doesn't appear to be negative or positive"; he responded, "time will tell"
i threw it away and we went on our day.
i showered and we took off for costco and trader joes.

when we got home DB asked me, "hey, i have two questions, are you interested inn ATV-ing in Mexico? and if you are pregnant is that something you're allowed to do?"
i said, "yes i am interested!; are there jumps? do many people fall off? if so, then it might not be the smartest idea; but if it isn't too crazy i think i'd be fine"
i said, "do you think im pregnant?"
DB said, "time will tell...haha"

we started to cut up all our fruits and vegetables, and made juice.

we started discussing next weekend, my birthday and what i wanted to get out of the weekend; i mentioned a pedicure, and coffee, and we're going to meet up with jill/sean for drinks....oh wait, what if i am pregnant, we'll have to tell jill/sean that weekend; cause they're hosting us for drinks....
what will we do the following weekend?....we're going to chico to see the whole family; do we tell them all we're pregnant then?
DB started to get annoyed with the "what if's..."
and i said, "well how about i go take a pregnancy test?"
DB was hesitant, he was good with his "time will tell" mantra.
I, on the other hand, just want to know, yes or no
i like to know as soon as possible.

so i took the test; we wait 3 minutes.
DB asked, "can i go the bathroom, or should i wait for the results?"
i said, go the bathroom, it'll be here when you're done.
he decides, to wait.

clear blue: 99% accurate reads; PREGNANT.


DB says, "are you sure?" "is that accurate?"

i said, "it looks pretty clear to me. congratulations! what do we do now?"

we took a few moments, took a few pictures,
partial reality started to creep in.
we both asked, "how are you feeling? are you okay?"
more pictures.

DB says, "lets sit down. lets pray"
before we prayed, we talked and shared all the current emotions.
(calm, okayness, anxious, slightly shocked, but not surprised, excited, ready)
he asked, "do you feel like a mother?"
i asked, "does it feel real?"

we cried. we hugged.

i checked the clear blue just to make sure i read it correctly.
it continued to read: PREGNANT.

DB said, "well this day turned out to be really weird"

we then walked to the mailbox to drop off some outgoing mail, we did a yoga session, went the the gym, talked about what to eat dinner...

(yup, this photo is from our time at the gym, just hours after finding out....)

ladies and gentlemen, we have an announcement!

we are going public with our little secret!
we are very excited! and its lovely to now be able to share our news!